and i just realized i've not written anything here all week. it's just...i may be a little off.
it started out just rotten when a friend i've never even met but who i adore nonetheless shared some sad news. through a stream of monday mails, i half-joked that i was experiencing the seven stages of grief for her. i've not yet made it past pissed.
and then every single night has been full of drowning dreams. do you even know how stressful it is to save people you love from impromptu floods and skyscraper waves out of the clear blue? when you aren't a strong swimmer?
sigh. i hate getting my hair wet.
and then there are the edge-of-the-cliff nightmares. when someone falls, i always seem to jump with them. it feels like the right thing to do. until it is clearly not.
all of these nightmares make me a little giddy during daylight hours, and that is not as delightful as it sounds. especially if a someone sadly tells you that an old man neighbor just died. and you start laughing and then look at the girlies three in a laughing panic who look horrified at your laughing and then you try to knock it off, mister! but holding in laughs is even worse than letting them out in situations like this. i should know.
the other night, a sweet friend was talking about something awful and tragic and she used the whispered phrase "i mean...it was like the holocaust."
umm. not even close. like, not even in the same universe close. what she was talking about would more accurately be classified as a bad scene. not genocide. which is why i busted out laughing uncontrollably. do you understand? please say yes. but, man, i wondered later if anyone stumbled into that conversation late and heard the word holocaust and then saw me on the floor in a fit of giggles...well...that would be a bad.
ever since, every time something insignificantly annoying happens that peeves off people around me, that phrase she used flies through my head. each time, a different historic tragedy. I KNOW! it's making me so wiggly uncomfortable and i can't for the life of me make it disappear!
see? so this is why i haven't posted this week. otherwise, i am dandy.
i found these two images on sex for breakfast. i think that is a good name for a blog. or a bakery.
15 comments:
I'm just glad you stopped in to share...I've missed you.
And those drowning dreams, I've had them for 3 weeks. I need to find something to make my closed eyed stories soar again...
Yes. Sex for breakfast. Maybe that's the ticket.
i had a dream this week twice that i moved 2 houses down from the novogratz's. know them? and i've never even seen their show. only seen it advertised on hgtv. i like my dreams better than yours- i fear drowning, another reason not to take a cruise.
you, of course, said what you were worried about perfectly. as usual. you do realize, you are an excellent writer, right? but you are as humble as you are excellent. does that make sense?
I get your fears, I really get them. My day dreams are worse than your nightmares, but so ridiculous. I'm throwing smiles at you for this weekend. x
i get it. and thank you for sharing.
i've been off this week... and although it's friday, cannot seem to shake it off.
xoxo
Holding in an inappropriate laugh always seems like a great idea. You think you can contain it until… “pfffffttt!” Typically followed with “baahahahaha!” and lots of omg stares. I know. I do it All. The. Time.
And what’s this about drowning? You attend way too many swim meets for that. Perhaps you just need a new suit? I wouldn’t worry, a little nightmare nothing compared to, I don’t know, being held captive in a concentration camp.
i kinda agree with your laughter -- that certainly would have left me with my jaw on the floor. how we need a little perspective sometimes.
as for the bakery name, i wish i were that gutsy. i'd do it if you'd be my front woman so i could hang out in the kitchen singing to old records while kneading dough.
I'm awful for laughing at inappropriate moments.
Read: my grandma's funeral.
Maybe it was something in the air but this week was rough for us too. Little miss got her first cold. There is nothing more pitiful than a sick baby.
The holocaust?! Fo' real?!! Oh, man... People are nutty.
I would TOTALLY dine at a bakery called "Sex for Breakfast".
And I'm a completely inappropriate giggler...and curser.
ewww, yuck. that link takes me to anorexic models. did you know that's what happens with "sex for breakfast"
maybe it's sex instead of food and eating.
i adore you and i know you wouldn't be advertising an anorexic site, but that is sure what that site feels like.
xo
i've got two friends that have shared two very different and yet completely similar stories about heartbreak and i want to share some part of it with them or hold it for them like a cigar in the waiting room. give it back to them when they can celebrate being on the other side.
fucking life.
sometimes it is so...just so full of shite.
so bad that sometimes even sex for breakfast does nothing to make the day better.
(okay. not true. i would totally eat a donut wrapped in a box labeled 'sex for breakfast.' but then i would go back to shite. sugared fingers and all.)
Oh, I so get it....people throw that term and also "nazi" around like it is no big deal...or to describe something so NOT even close as you said. It slays me. And of course the ridiculousness of it would make anyone with sense laugh. I am sorry you are having all of these bad dreams and things. But, seeing as how you are moving soon, it makes sense that you would have dreams about drowning, saving those you love and things like that. I think that signifies a healthy amount of apprehension or fear of the unknown or change. But, everything will be better than ok, I know. I just know. And sex for breakfast is the answer for sure, and a kick ass name for a bakery. seriously, someone needs to do that. pronto.
xoxo
Melis
oh i hear you.
the laughing, why must it be at the most inappropriate times?? usually whence i say the most inappropriate things:
scene: share with my friend my scary news about nonsensical court case, blah-di-blah-blah-blah...
"i'm mean it's not like it's cancer, right?"~i quip.
"right"-my friend counters....as she proceeds to break the news of her uterine cancer to me.
we break into tears of laughter.
what else could we do?
{she is thankfully in remission}
love my karey.
reading your blog is such a burst of refreshing brillance. xo
Oh, I so get it....people throw that term and also "nazi" around like it is no big deal...or to describe something so NOT even close as you said. It slays me. And of course the ridiculousness of it would make anyone with sense laugh. I am sorry you are having all of these bad dreams and things. But, seeing as how you are moving soon, it makes sense that you would have dreams about drowning, saving those you love and things like that. I think that signifies a healthy amount of apprehension or fear of the unknown or change. But, everything will be better than ok, I know. I just know. And sex for breakfast is the answer for sure, and a kick ass name for a bakery. seriously, someone needs to do that. pronto. xoxo Melis
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