another peek...

i'm still so unplugged. but it's so wonderful that i had to jump back in for a second to tell you.

{ahem.} i've unplugged. and it's wonderful.

there. it feels good to check in with you.

i know there are a million mails i've technically not answered...but...i've answered them in my head. in short, yes to all and maybe next week and i'd love it in a medium and sure! i'd love one of your bracelets! i've been trying to dip my wrist into gold, but it's been a lifetime since i switched to white gold so do not let the exclamation point trick you; my sure is a tentative one. and they're not all pirates, though.

also. if you ever want to know who loves you, don't post for a while. my inbox is like a fat hug from a friend who smells delicious. your words for me are far too nice. i don't deserve them, i think, but i'm stealing them nonetheless.

one note has been making me think too hard during this unplugging of mine. in part, it politely requested that i come back and write. sooner rather than later. because, as the sweetheart reader wrote, i never make her feel badly about herself or her life.

that made me proud for about a half-second, but then i felt a little awful. and not because of that moment where i giggled and said out loud to no one you are most welcome for my mediocrity, kind sir. even though she is a madam. i digress. awful because of how she was feeling as a result of...gulp...blogs.

to me, blogs are collections. grand piles of good words or stellar ideas or artful images. to me, they're meant to inspire. inform. entertain. and this one in particular is purely a page where i practice writing. nothing more, but probably much less. it's sorely lacking an ulterior motive or upward trajectory and, especially of late, this troubles me. so this unplugging of mine has been a welcome respite from obsessing over all i'm not doing with this space because of what i'm doing outside of this space.

does that make sense?

anyway. i understand it completely when i'm hard on myself. i get it when you're pushing yourself out of your comfort zone because of some internal motivation, too. but i can't say that i understand. it. at. all. when those feelings fly in as a result of what someone else is writing or doing or making or thinking.

never been a factor for me.

it's not for you, either, is it? and, on the god-awful chance that it is true, what do you do about it? stop reading the blogs that make you feel less? or stalk them and do what i do when another driver's being a total jerk in a parking lot?**
**i just mutter lazy cow. i wish i did something more renegade, but i really don't believe in being renegade out loud.

images found here and here. and found really quickly. since i'm unplugged and all...