27 April 2011

lest you think i'm nice...

some of your sweetheart comments worry me every so often, and i think now is one of those times where i should remind you that i am not very nice. not really. at. all.

here. i'll prove it.

a few weeks ago, it was raining and i was wearing a cool dress and silly-cute shoes. my office windows look out onto the forest in back of my house, which means i see my share and probably yours, too, of foxes and raccoons and deer and cute golfer boys and even baby couples trying to steal away for a make-out.

i let coco interrupt the golfers, but i tend to leave the kissing bandits alone. making out should be encouraged, don't you think?

well. back to a few weeks ago. we have these neighbors from iraq. they're lovely. but the grandmother is suffering from some sort of dementia. is that the right word? when you regress back to your childhood?

anyway. i saw her back in the woods, running in the rain from something forever ago, probably. and she tripped in the thorns. i know there are thorns because uncle sugar and i take that shortcut to get to the real paths back there. when we're going to make-out. i mean, hike.

if i'm being honest? {and here's where the people who know me in real life cringe and yell at their monitors "do NOT be honest, karey! we already KNOW you're not a nice person! don't ruin it for your readers!}

ugh. here goes.

if i'm being honest, my first thought was not to jump up and help her. my first thought was more like a resigned sigh. like a dang it! not what i needed right now. at. all.

i take that back. my first thought was straight back to the night before when i said something or other to uncle sugar and he narrowed his eyes and shook his head at me and said "you're not a very nice person right now." i added the right now so it wouldn't sound so...forever permanent.

i said i most certainly was a nice person and that a number of people who don't know me think so, too, but that guy was not budging from his statement.

anyway. fifty percent of why i went out to help that grandmother was because i was trying to prove to myself that i am, in fact, a nice person. which really means i am not one. at. all.

it's funny. the only arabic word i really remember is habibiti. it kind of means my baby. my love. i kept saying it over and over to her while i was trying to untangle her.

then i delivered her home and yelled at her still-sleeping grandson and clicked my tongue at him for not locking the door and for allowing his grandmother to walk out in the rain in the cold forest like a dog. he said it was very nice of me to have rescued her.

and i wanted to tell him about my cool dress and silly-cute shoes and how i really hate helping people in the rain in the forest in the mud in the thorns when i look cute and what uncle sugar had said about me and what i honestly deep-down know about me, but i just said thank you. and then i came home and got all weepy for that poor poor old woman.

a little later, i called pat at work to tell him what had just happened. after cooing about the poor poor old woman and clicking his tongue at that grandson, he asked if i was okay. i said yes, of course. it was just sad.

before he hung up, he said "you were going to pretend you didn't see her, weren't you?" and i gulped and said yes. and i could feel him smile.

"see? i was right. you're not a nice person."

but it actually sounded a lot nicer than that.

oh, the things i tell you people. it makes me giggle. so...we're agreed. no more comments about how nice i am, ok? there. i feel better now. xoxo. the first four things that made me smile on pinterest today, in no particular order: here, here, here and here.


A. Houghton said...

I think that makes two of us.

blu said...

you're so cool karey m. so super cool. love reading your words in the morning; they help jump start my own...

Richie Designs said...

fine then, you're the most nice, not very nice person I know.

I had visions of the movie My Big Fat Greek Wedding when their Ya-Ya is dressed all in black escaping to the neighbor's yard.


raleigh-elizabeth {bunnyvictorious!} said...

this just makes me love you all the more. because honestly, i'm not that nice either. i mean, it's more like "oh god please don't come in here and start asking me questions..." not that i don't want to be helpful or anything, but more that i don't want to be helpful or anything.
does that make any sense?

Heather said...

I think this is a totally normal response to the situation. Either that makes me "not very nice," too, which I am okay with, OR it means we have warped standards and that human nature is to look out for ones own interests first.

Besides, aren't your actions most important here? You thought about pretending not to see her (I would have, too), but you didn't. You helped her.

You could take some credit for that?

Ana Degenaar said...

You are the nicest not-nice-person I know... I mean it.

Simply Mel {Reverie} said...

i'll not allow this story to burst my karey balloon. i know you are nice...you have 3 girls ~ i have a theory for this which one day i'll share (in person) because after i share it, then you may possibly realize i can be not so nice either.

krista said...

this just makes me like you more. don't try to stop it.

Katie said...

Being a little bit not nice but still doing the nice thing actually doesn't sound so bad.
It kind of beats being too super nice and occasionally becoming a doormat until your husband goes, "You're TOO NICE!"

Just saying.

We over-nice types get a little jealous.

(raleigh-elizabeth: me too!)

Kristin said...

but you did help her. and that means your nice. end of story!! ;)

Uncle Beefy said...

Okay, first off, *love* the honesty! Vulnerable = Delicious

Secondly, just so you know, Miss Karey, *everyone* does exactly what you happened to do at some point in their life if not their everyday. Do I mean this in that gross generalization kinda way with the understanding that I don't actually, *really,* mean "everyone?" No. I mean *everyone*. Period.

Mother Teresa? Yeah. I believe even her too.

The thing is, you acted in spite of your moment of "mean." Which means that there's a whole lotta lovely rollin' around in you. I bet even some specks of genuine "nice."

And, the other thing is, not everyone would admit to it. Therefore, your response to the situation doesn't make you mean, it makes you human. And, your public admission doesn't make you "less than," it makes you stellar beyond compare.

You rock!

Kimberlee said...

yeah. yeah. whatever. I still like you and think you are a nice person - can't change my mind that easily! x

carina said...

I fully believe in sneaking off to make-out on wooded paths and also that reaching out to help people doesn't always come as easily as we pretend it ought to. We still adore you no matter what you throw at us, lady K...

Fern and Feather said...

since I know you don't feel comfortable with "nice" I will give you a couple other words that might better explain this character "dilemma"... honest and authentic. Love your story... I would have done the same.

melissa loves said...

ditto to what Uncle Beef said. You don't scare me. Stop trying to scare me! :) I would have thought THE SAME thing, and then I would have gone out and helped her too. SO there....ditto to what Uncle Beef said. Adore you.

Callie Grayson said...

:) love the honesty.
I have to concur with Uncle Beefy.

ps did your shoes survive the mud?