i like you...

the girlies two were out late last night at swim team practice, which gave me some undistracted esmé time. i thought she'd need it after yesterday.

between me and you? i think i was the one who needed it. when in the world did i get so heartbroken about goodbyes? ugh. i bet i'm getting old lady, aren't i?




anyway. we played catch, i made her a very rare filet as red as she likes it and as much edamame as she wanted without stealing even one, i gave her a bath and let her eat jellybeans in it, and i told her stories about lillie and grae from when they were babies.

she loves those the most. especially the one where lillie dragged a still-crawling grae out of her crib, down a huge flight of stairs, through the living room and to the kitchen, where she then stood atop a teetering stool to get to the freezer and the box of popsicles because "gracie couldn't take a nap until she had a popsicle."

and a rather painful rug-burn, apparently. in retrospect, perhaps even a minor concussion. whatever. time heals all wounds, doesn't it?

every time, esmé's response is the same. "that gracie. she loves popsicles."

before bed, i read her a book from high up on one of her shelves. i like you by sandol stoddard warburg.




there are two parts in that book where i always get choked up. one is I can't remember when I didn't like you. It must have been lonesome then. and the other is I would go on choosing you, And you would go on choosing me, Over and over again. That's how it would happen every time. I don't know why. I guess I just like you.

esmé saw some writing at the back of the book and asked what it said. i told her it was a note i'd written to uncle sugar, and she looked very confused.

"did you give this book to daddy?" she asked.

yep.

"when you were kids?" she asked.




well, i guess it might have been before babies and oman and amman and all the rest. so yes. we were still kids in a lot of ways.

"so...you liked daddy?" she asked.

the conversation didn't really go anywhere after that and probably didn't mean a thing, but it got me thinking. i wonder if i'm showing the girlies often enough how much i like their dad. i mean, he knows i do and i tell you about how much i do and i feel like anyone who sees us together surely knows how much i do...but i wonder if insane schedules and threat-filled bedtimes and all the pat! can you come up here and kill this stinkbug for us? are getting in the way.

eh. it's probably nothing but i'm going to work on it. because i like working on a nothing. it's far less stressful than a something.

kiss hug kiss hug. i wrote it out because i mean it. have a sweet tuesday, you sweet you. also, i remembered last night why i've always dug the name holiday for a girl or a puppy. it's from i like you...that line We could be a HOLIDAY. We could be a CELEBRATION. We could be a WHOLE PARADE. kills me every time. random pics from storm in a teacup.