so i dropped the babes off at their various schools and headed to the grocery.
can i tell you how i despise the grocery? it confuses the heck out of me and i buy nothing but nonsense and then the girlies three ask for things i totally forgot to bring home. like milk and bread.
but today wasn't so bad. i am in a giggly mood of late, and even the woeful state of the chobani flavors couldn't bring me down.
and then? then. i. get. to. the. checkout.
only one lane was open and it was marked express. like, ten items or less. i probably had one hundred items. since no one was around, the checker-lady said it's fine, darlin'.
as soon as i'd unloaded the hundredth item from my cart? about ten people walked up. each with one or two little nothings. no longer fine, darlin'.
in a panic, i did what i always do when i am in a panic: i started laughing. no one joined in. and the worst part? checker-lady didn't have my back! this was her fault, anyway. she told me to go express.
it could not get worse. until checker-lady asked loudly would you like to donate to homeless children for the holidays?
umm. nah. i whispered.
not today, i answered little more loudly. and when she kept staring at me, i followed up with a i'm sure they'll be fine...it's going to be a mild winter...
and then. she asked if i'd like to donate a dollar to breast cancer research.
now, i'm not going to bore you with what i give and what i don't give and which charities i adore and which i ignore...because we're all adults who make our own adult decisions about those sorts of things. but i will say that the local grocery is not where i'm donating a dollar's worth of breast cancer research.
and then. she said oh! lucky you! your rewards card just gave you a ten dollar voucher to be used toward your next purchase.
lucky me. yeah. especially when trashy mommy in juicy behind me who's holding two v-8s and a roll of summer sausage pipes in you can use it toward my next purchase!
so i did. not because i was shamed into it or mortified by the previous four minutes of my life, but so i could say to everyone in that line see? i'm not a bad person who hates homeless children and people with breast cancer. i'm not. i'm a giver. happy christmas to all and to all a good night.
i didn't really say that. well, i said that except for the i'm a giver happy christmas blah blah blah.
remind me why do you hang out with me again?
some of my friends have asked how i choose photos for my posts. i tell them that i have a really scrolly speedy mouse, and when it stops to give me a moment to gasp? i know i've found the right photos. this happens a lot on the steward. a lot a lot.