delayed reaction...

i can't tell you this story. not the juicy bits.

but i will tell you this: i got a phone call yesterday from a mother. and i don't mean a mother trucker, which was uncle sugar's favorite swear to call adults when he was a little uncle sugar. i mean another mom.

i told you that to tell you this: my initial reaction is always always i'm wrong. you're right. i'll fix. you sit tight. no worries no worries no worries.

that philosophy served me well when we lived overseas. those places never belonged to me, so i always deferred. always. does that make sense?

i guess i continued acquiescing even when we moved home. i still don't feel like this place belongs to me, but i'm working on that. i am.

anyway. this phone call. of course, this woman is all passive aggro. which is fine. whatever. but when i pushed back a little? her response was a vehement no no no! that does NOT sound like MY daughter! i don't believe you.

{i just edited a really juicy bit.}

{and another. maybe three more after that.}

my point, if you're expecting one, is this: know. your. kid.

i was raving to my mary ruffle last night about this - and if you want all the juicy bits, you may ask her to tell you. i don't mind. - and she said something like that part of being a parent is exactly what scares people away from wanting babies: crazy other parents.

but i told her that would be a bad decision. because after phone calls like this one, you and your partner will look at this little person you've made together. in that baby who will always be your baby, you'll see exaggerated versions of your best and, more often than that, your worst. you'll understand exactly what that mother trucker meant when she called to complain, and then you'll giggle. especially when your uncle sugar says something like i know how she is because she's exactly like me...except more like the devil. and then he'll shrug off your worries. remind you that we're making strong girlies three who will never be dependent on other girlies' bad moods or behind-the-scenes mean. and then tell you that you've got to break a few eggs to make an omelet.

{i just deleted a few more juicy bits. plus some swears. that uncle sugar is naughty, did you know? yes, you probably did. calling adults mother truckers when he was seven? i think you've got his number.}

and then, all will be well.

unless you're me.

i hate my initial reaction. i should've pushed back more forcefully. i should've told that woman...i don't know what i could've told a woman like that, but i wish i'd told her...i don't know. i really don't know. and that makes me so mad at myself.

uncle sugar thinks i should've smiled sweetly like i always do - and did - and tell her oh, i know what you're saying! our daughter doesn't suffer fools gladly, but we've been working on this with her!

i like that uncle sugar. very much.

ok. on a different note. i've been raving obsessed about this jamie flannigan who left me a comment or two. her. tumblr. is. insane. check it here. dying. just dying over it. enjoy! and xoxo. thanks for listening to my nonsense. i feel better now.