i worry.
grae-rose whined more than her usual i'm-going-to-jump-off-a-cliff-if-she-doesn't-stop a lot about my crazed insistence that i blow their hair desert dry after every. single. shower.
why? she wailed.
it's incredible. she is ten. i've been doing this for ten. do the math.
because otherwise, you smell like a wet dog! i snapped.
but what i really wanted to tell her is that i worry.
do you remember the moment when you stopped curling up on the couch with your parents? when you became more comfortable collapsing in giggles with your friends instead of your family? when you stopped sharing secrets with them and turned to strangers? when your mom was no longer the one who made your heart skip a beat and right your world like magic whenever you caught sight of her? that exact moment when you stopped being a little girl? i do.
it's coming. i worry that it's coming. not soon, but it is coming.
so sitting with them for the five minutes it takes to dry their hair - no matter how grumpy that five minutes may be. and, trust me. it is way grumpy. - probably has not-so-much to do with avoiding the wet dog smell. that touch is sometimes the closest we get all day. and sometimes, if i'm very lucky, it leads to spilling secrets {theirs} and sharing giggles {ours} and even a few skipped heartbeats {mine}.
she's ten. i stink at math, but i want another {insert number of years that's more than forever}.
that's all i really learned. or, at least, all i really remember. oh. and also, i like yoo. check out their properties here. of course, jade jagger's mood pods are a genius concept. but all the designers seem to highlight the views. they're smart. it's hard to compete with sea and sky, right? and, yes. i like you, too. i hope your weekend was as perfect as it should've been. xoxo.
21 comments:
oh boy, lump in my throat. i don't even want to think of this...
oh god. Karey....please don't do this tom me at 9:25 in the morning....like Paula above I have a huge lump in my throat now, tears in my eyes and am beside myself with the thought of that moment. I do remember it and I had forgotten it was coming for me too. I am not very good at math either ( in fact I stink) but, I would like another whatever is more than forever amount too. Can you please, please make that happen? please....god, you get me every time. Describing how it feels to be a mom, every time.
xoxo
Melis
i don't remember that precise moment when i grew up. i don't think it was until i was in high school, though that doesn't mean i didn't throw fits for my parents here and there when i was younger. but i wasn't must concerned about being a social butterfly or friends or late night phone calls until some time after the other kids. maybe my mom was just lucky.
i don't remember the exact moment of growing up. but i do remember summer nights in high school, sitting on the back porch under twinkly lights...my mom and my friends and i, all of us sharing secrets and giggles. she was the sort of mom that all my friends adored and so did i. we never really lost that connection because she understood that sometimes space is necessary. but never permanent.
i imagine you are that sort of mom, the one that her girlies adore beyond words. and the sort of mom that will be a mother and friend to her girlies' friends, too.
trust me. their hearts skip a beat around you.
grae-rose's current fondess for friends reveals how truly loved she feels by her mother. if she had insecurities or doubts she'd be right there, under your chin, afraid.
so well you've done by your girlies three.
love,
katie
Oh no.
This makes me worried.
About my crappiness and I should be doing better.
LOVE THIS.
you're great. and i know this because there's another little girl who visits here every once in a while and loves it when i dry her hair. seems like it never ever happens at her home.
I heard a great "this american life" story this weekend about parents good intentions. one of the stories was from a guy who talked about how he thought his mom just liked to torture him with stuff.
like typing lessons one summer he was forced to endure.
now he's a writer and he types all day long and he said it took him 20 years to figure out mom was just looking out for him.
it was super sweet.
My mother blew my hair dry until I was 15. Seriously. She was the daughter and sister of beauticians and she made me feel like I was visiting a salon (a big deal in a house full of tomboys.) I loved it. (And it took 20+ minutes because I have 82 pounds of hair.)
How blessed are your girls to have a mother who makes them feel beautiful inside-and-out. What a gift! And yes, your love is constant and true, so she is free to treat it roughly. But love is pretty tough stuff, isn't it?
What a wonderful post and food for thought. I'd love to continue writing about when I stopped being a little girl more. (Can I link back to ya?) And can you please tell me when did I turn from a Miss to a Mam?
aw.. those little rituals, those are the times I remember with my Mum.. my ten-year old and I do yoga together, and it is worth every painful second to sometimes get a glimpse into the deepest pockets of her heart :) Sometimes I wish we could hit the pause button...
Oh I hear you Karey. I curl up in bed with mine every night and just inhale them. Little one is more than happy to fall asleep in my arms... I never want it to stop. I lie looking at their faces in the moonlight and I can see their baby faces when they sleep... I keep telling myself they're still babies... but they're not.... time is screaming past. I hear you. A-M xx
If it is any consolation - I can remember the moment when it all stopped but it was only a small window & now I can remember when the need to have my mum returned & it still hasn't left me (I'm 38). I share all my secrets with her, she is my best friend & when I'm with her I always feel like her little girl. That mother/daughter bond is an incredible one & I only hope that I am able to emulate it with my 3 beautiful sons..............woops just got a bit teary writing that!
I'm on the cusp with one, and the other thinks he is on the cusp - but he's so not.
i'm greatful for the eldest one getting sick, because he turns back into a cuddly bear straight away.
man i'm going to be the most annoying mother in law going - i'd keep my boys close as long as i could.
xxx
I have a friend who told me his oven has a button that reads "stop time" he knows the manufacturer means, stop timer, but he doesn't touch it, just in case. Moments like these you see in the future make me wish I had control of such a button, of course there would be a start time, but not until I filled up on all the moments my heart could hold and my memory handle.
shannon. that's one of the coolest things i've ever read. stop time. i have chills still. xoxo.
I know all about this crazed hair doing business. Just brushing hair is an ordeal in our house. Thanks for the reminder..not to rush the little things. To listen to the stories and take advantage of the every day. The idea of "that" day, no good...very sad indeed.
Oh, Karey...! I've been thinking about this a lot lately with Noah going into first grade in the fall... I'm in fact a little teared up at the moment, so maybe I should come back when I'm less blurry...
I worry, too. I worry most about how others will treat him when I'm not around... and I worry I won't have enough time - forever - to let him know how very special he is... even when others may say otherwise. I want him to feel the safety and love he feels here at home wherever he goes... Will I have enough time to do that before what others say begin to matter more than what I tell him..? I hope so. (And I know this is a little bit of a different worry, but...it is what I worry most about now.)
xoox,
-maria
It flies. Really - like a comet. I know this for a fact.
xox,
Susan
I feel your pain... time goes by so fast and we have to enjoy our loved ones as much as we can...
yes...this is exactly why i still let both of the girlies sleep in our bed whenever they want (bad i know)
xoxo
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