10 December 2009

moving me...

two things. because now i am stressed to my guts.

i've got the first floor almost nearly crackhouse finished. but that's only because i've shuffled boxes of unnecessary shininess around to one of the other two floors. my closet is a mess. all of them. but mine is a sea of black. and i am drowning in it. when did i acquire all of this nonsense?




what's worse is that last night i broke. it was a day of putting things in their places and then an evening of three shorties taking those things from their places. and then leaving those things on the floor. which didn't really matter until it did.

i wisely decided to take a break and decorate one of our three trees. {i. know.} so the girlies three joined me and we talked and adorned and laughed. twinkly lights have an effect on us all.

while lill and grae babbled, i noticed something. lill was retelling her day's dramas. that girl tells a good story. plus? she's taking a family slash lifestyle class, so they're peppered with saucier terms. this may be why esmé has named her freshly-unpacked santa plushie ballopian tube. which is better than her baby doll named flagina. if i had to choose.

lill regaled us with awkward moments, mostly with butts as her main theme. she told us the naughty words other kids and even her teacher were allowed to say. that two fifth grade girls got into a fight at lunch. and how a boy was suspended for making a bang-bang gesture with his hands.

this school is a joke, she said. and then flopped down on the couch.




and this is where grae comes in. no, lillie. you're wrong. i didn't learn anything at our old school. my teacher had no plan. he just told us stories. i'm finally working hard and learning something. i love it here.

the difference? grae adores her teacher. lillie's teacher does not adore her. and that? that makes a big difference.

i noticed something else. lillie feels. like me, she will float through life on emotion, never really caring about facts too terribly much. but grae? she's nothing but the facts, ma'am. it just struck me as funny.

lill will be the friend you call when your marriage is on the rocks because she will hate him for you when you need him to be hated, tell you how great he is when you need to remember how great he is, make you feel stronger when you're anything but, cry with you when you're all out of tears, and then forget it all when all is well again. grae will be the friend you call when you find a lump because you know she will research the best oncologists in the city, hound the veryveryvery best one until she gets you an appointment exactly two hours after you called her, and be next to you all the way through until all is well again. i know this about them like i know my name.

so back to the moment. we were calm and happy and things were good. twinkly lights. and i asked grae to toss me a pink pig ornament. {easy e loves pigs on skis. who knew.} she threw it without thinking. when it hit my chin, i started crying without thinking. and in their rush to get to me and hug me and kiss my boo-boo, they stepped on my favorite ornament i've ever owned. cracked it to bits.




it had belonged to my sister. who loved christmas so much she started decorating smack after halloween and never took down her twinkly lights. ever. i honestly can't think of christmas without thinking of her.

everyone but esmé gasped. and while lill curled herself around me and stroked my face and giggled about how cute i looked when i cried plus wow! tears really make your blue eyes bluer, grae set about trying to glue those smashed pieces back together.

and i saw two things. clearly. one? things do not matter. moments certainly do.

and those two girls together? the only friends you'd ever need.

fancy photos of a feather princess amid hidden treasures is exactly how i'm feeling today. lovingly swiped from dustjacket attic. have i told you i'm really missing visiting you? i am. i'll be back soon. and now? i've a date with some boxes. have a sweet day, friends. xoxo.

27 comments:

Kelly said...

tears. happy, then sad, then happy again. and longing for a sister i've never had.

xo
kelly

Shannon said...

your girls are treasures...ecspecially to each other.

babs said...

you break my heart...

Brandi said...

you have such an amazing connection with your girls. i normally don't think about having kids and such. there really isn't any time for such things being in grad school, and well, not being married yet. you make me look forward to being a mom someday (i hope you know that's a HUGE compliment, one i've NEVER dished out before to ANYONE).
the moments really are the most important.

kathleen said...

honestly, pangs in my heart! i love those girls. and i love the pix; the first one reminds me of some sort of forest fairy.

don't forget to keep adding more twinkle

krista said...

esme strikes me as the one you can call when you need to divulge a secret because it's so heavy it hurts your heart. she won't judge you, she won't react, she won't offer advice, she'll just listen.
i could be wrong but then you've got the trifecta of women on your side right there, don't you?

Kelly and Kelly said...

We never, ever forget and that is both a blessing and a hard thing. I'm crying for you. How hard it must be to miss your sister, especially at this time of year.

Good luck with the unpacking. We moved twice last time we moved. Once in an apartment (while the house was being renovated) and then into our house. So much of our stuff went into storage and when we opened it back up we realized - hey, maybe we didn't need this in the first place if we didn't miss it the last 3 months.

emily b. said...

i think there is something in our genetic codes that allows it to be easier to connect memories with things. like if they're not tangible they may not really exist. it is so scary and then...a relief of sorts when you realize that thing lost or broken was just a thing. and you still have all of your beautiful moments just the same.

hoping your chin and your heart are feeling a bit better :)

xo, em

Rachel said...

i love how you see and encourage their uniqueness and then cherish how those pieces make them a rock solid sister team. goosebumps.

pen.ny said...

i'm all emotion, no facts. think with my heart, not my head.

Kay* said...

wow. i don't even know what to say. i was laughing at ballopian tube and flagina and then ooohing when you described your girls and then my heart almost broke along with your ornament (remember, i'm the girl that cries during cold case...so THIS? definitely requires some tears)

i heart the relationship you have with your girls. so special.

Heather said...

wow, that was beautiful. so sorry the ornament broke, your heart must have broken a little with it.

peege said...

You just made me cry.

mrs. darling said...

this might be the most beautiful thing you have ever written on this blog. every thursday my sis comes over for supper. tonight i was going to cancel because i'm so tired and in a cranky-pants sort of mood. then i read this, ended up in tears and plan on calling her in a moment to make plans for chinese takeout tonight.

thank you for the reminder things aren't important but moments, and most especially family, is.

Simply Mel said...

you are beyond lucky to have such perfect 'presents' around your tree! Those girls are perfection.

The Lil Bee said...

Oh, Karey. I love them. And I'm sorry about your sister's ornament. It seems very symbolic to me, given how you've spoken about your sister. One girlie to hug you and the other to pick up all the pieces. I think she'd be really proud of how you raised them.

amy turn sharp of doobleh-vay said...

when you write about yr sister things fly out from the screen at me- tiny little arrows and they always get my heart and I bleed. I love you. I wrap myself around you from over here. xo

Richie Designs said...

laughing and crying simultaneously as always.

you're amazing

Krissy said...

I want to be friends with you and the girlies.... I need friends like that :)

A-M said...

Yep it's the moments and yes tears from me today. Your words are magic for my heart strings A-M xx

goodniteirene said...

blue eyes are their sparkliest with tears. my heart pitter pats at the thought of you having an ornament made from both your sister, and now made/glued back together by your sweet grae.
xo, katie

Jill said...

oh the tears... xx

etta said...

you write like a dream. am a recent a discoverer of your site and have spent many pleasant moments catching up on your wonderful writings.

from the sounds of it, your girls are the most amazing friends one could ever have.

la la Lovely said...

Oh, I've been missing your writing...and this is just beautiful... My constant tune seems to be asking, begging and then yelling to pick your things up off the floor. Things on the floor are my enemy right now. But things on the floor really don't matter all that much (it's just I do not leave the house at all and it being messy and crazy just adds to my crazy, I'm sure you know) and anyhow I'm trying to convince myself that and think more about the moments as you have said that is what will be remembered.
You're girls are just so lovely... I know it and I've never met them.
Hope the unpacking comes along quickly.....and you find some special things and such in boxes that you've forgotten all about...that will brighten a day!
xx Trina

megan said...

this is the most beautiful post, karey. xoxo

Joslyn said...

ok your girlies three are perfection.

Courtney said...

As beautiful a post as ever... your girls do sound like they embody all you'd ever want and need in a friend. And I'm sorry for the loss of your sister's ornament-- even if things don't matter, those things that hold a special place in our hearts are hard to let go. xo