20 January 2012

murder...

so i was picking up my friend's full-length mink the other day...

i could stop there, couldn't i? but i won't.




the place was nice but kind of a hike, and there was a doorbell. i stood there for a moment while the guy inside stared hard at me and i stared hard back at him and that's when i made the decision not to ring the doorbell. they let me in anyway. i think because of my furry mitts from pour porter peeking out.

fur shops are strange to me. i'm not anti-fur or anti-anything, for that matter, but i felt like i was choking in there. it smelled old. and everyone was unattractive, but trying super hard to make you think they were not unattractive. did i just write that? oh, my. i should've stopped at the choking bit.




so they give me my friend's mink, which is the longest most beautiful richest color piece of perfection that kind of made me make the same sound i make when i am cuddling with one of my people. the end.

wait. there's more.

so i walk out of the shop, merrily making my way to my car when i hear FUR! IS! MURDER! and i thought about it in my head as i was walking and agreed. good point. for sure. it is murder. unless the animals in question have already perished. then it's simply serendipitous, yes?

again with the FUR! IS! MURDER!

and i looked at this group of grungy fellows on my right, one with a camera and all looking at me, and i smiled and nodded politely and said something along the lines of it sure is, mister.

and then i looked down. you'd think that my first thought would've been dummy. you're. carrying. a. giant. bag. out. of. a. fur. shop. with. the. name. of. the. fur. shop. emblazoned. across. it. sadly, it was not. my first thought was a hissper to myself they see my mitts!




anyway. i hid my hands under the gigantic mink and smiled my most reassuring, brightest, non-threatening to all animals of the world smile and assured those lovely boys in a bit of a panicked voice that IT'S NOT MINE! IT'S MY FRIEND'S!

i didn't tell them she has others. and i won't tell her what they said, either.

p.s. my friends said i could wear the mink as much as i want before they come to pick it up, with only one rule. i must wear it to lacrosse games while puffing on a filtered ciggie in one hand, a dirty martini in the other. i will be sure to instagram that as soon as it happens. also, for the record, my mitts are not even fur. they're just so darn...furry.

gimme.

8 comments:

leigh said...

I'm not necessarily against fur either, although I don't own any or have plans to make a fur-chase... see what I did there? ;) But then, I live in Canada and have spent a lot of time way up North - and wearing fur up there is more about survival and less about fashion. I'm also of the mind that if you are against fur, then you should be against leather... and I'm not. I don't condone killing an animal for no reason however - and I certainly am not a huge fan of just killing it for it's fur... but if you hunt it and use it all (aka eat it and wear it), then I'm okay with that. But just for sport and a trophy? Nope.. not okay with that.

Richie Designs said...

oh I SO want to see that photo!

I thought of you last night trying on big fun gumball jewels. They so have your name on them. I have a photo of the one I picked out for you over on the blog.
upper right corner of the four.

I have other things to say about the evening but it involves the words camel and toe and should not be spoken too loudly.

me... said...

shhhh... in my guest room closet i have my grandma's mouton fur coat.
it is exquiste. when i wear it i feel like she is hugging me, cliche but true.

so if you wear the mink i will wear my mouton.

i have 2 martini glasses and the shaker out & waiting..

Suzanne : : S.HOPtalk said...

Now that you've teased us, you must share a pic! Clinking martini glasses with you and chuckling about your beloved furry gloves. xo

Callie Grayson said...

Oh my! You had me laugh out loud on the train, in the quiet car!!
I have a few furs, they were my grandmothers and let me tell ou I love them. They are very by very warm and when it's ten below zero!! I think those little creatures for giving their life for my warmth.
Xx
Callie

Torrie said...

yes. please do share that pic =).

melissa loves said...

god, you're fab. Not just cause of the furry mitts or the effervescent smile or cause sometimes you just don't give a rat's ass....just cause you always make me so darn happy. And I don't even have fur, unless you count the 4 legged variety still with a pulse. ;)
xo
Melis

Alix H. said...

I really love this. (and the previous post, and the one before that...)