23 March 2011

the good writers...

ooh. i like this.

i think i see one story every few days. more than that, maybe, but i can't share all those.

i feel guilty when i don't write to you daily, but my free time seems to be fast fading between the girlies' schedules, outrageous life plans, and my fun freelance.

fun may be an understatement. right now, i'm in the middle of writing two newsletters that look and sound nothing like just any old newsletters, a bio for a woman who doesn't want it to sound anything like just any old bio, and one. witty. speech.

i was joking with uncle sugar, telling him i wanted to start the speech {for a pretty well-known and all-around cool guy, i might add, which makes the story even more uncomfortable.} with my favorite joke, and i swear his face...i don't know how to explain all the emotions that crossed it. like, pain was the most obvious. shame and disdain were in there, as well.

i wish i could tell it to you. if you were here next to me, i would. and i'd be laughing so hard and you'd be looking at me all quizzically as if your thought bubble read "this. girl. has. lost. it. and also? she has disgusting and rather childish taste in jokes."

i'll tell you the last lines. ohmygosh. no. i cannot. i'm sorry.

speaking of speeches, when i was at alt summit in january, uncle sugar had to help lillie with hers on one of the harry potter books, and he suggested an attention-getter of DEAD UNICORNS...more on that in a minute.

she got an A+.

i said "how did you come up with that?" and he told me he was the king of attention-getters in junior high. he modeled lillie's on one of his better ones.

"which one?"

"DEAD HOOKERS...more on that in a minute."

man, i am glad we didn't have boys.

listen. if you ever need help writing something, ask me. i stink at a lot of things, but i can make you sound larger-than-life and turn your words into something everyone will adore. promise. if you don't hear from me for a bit, that's what i'm doing for someone else, ok? it's not you...it's them. bastards. KIDDING! xoxo. words i copied down from here, loft from here and via stash's brill blog, girl in the sun from here. can you tell my dreams consist of three things these days? finding stories, renting a loft for a year in downtown dc, and sun on my skin. obsessed with all.


And Kathleen said...

I can't wait to have the kind of project that I need to hire you for. It will happen.

Brandi {not your average ordinary} said...

give me a few months and i will likely need your help. there's a store in my future. i just need to work on it more. after i finish school. and while "dead hookers" is an attention grabber, "dead unicorns" is way cooler. i'm surprised the girls in lillie's class didn't break out into tears.

Emily said...

i need to know that joke. right. this. instant!!!

bet it's not as safe and tame as this baby:

what do you call santa's little helpers?

subordinate clauses!
(nothing like a little english major humor before noon)

megan said...

i was about to type "sun on your skin is my favorite of these obsessions," but then i was like, "hm, that sounds slightly dirty."

so instead i will say "yay, beach!"

and also, laughing at the attention-getters and the attention-getter-makers.



Richie Designs said...

I totally want you to make me sound larger than life. Now I just need to find a reason to do so.

speaking of good stories. a girlfriend just sent me this link I think it's an amazing story and project.


Jennifer said...

totally loving the above quote. how deeply it speaks to my soul. people stories are so important. we all need to share our stories. thank you for this.

Jennifer said...

totally loving the above quote. how deeply it speaks to my soul. people stories are so important. we all need to share our stories. thank you for this.

beth said...

thanks for coming by....and i couldn't agree with you more in regards to women having prettier parts than men :)

and so my goal for this summer....you got it. i'm going to try to duplicate this photo the best i can. my hubby can hardly wait to be the photographer.

TX Girl said...

I want to make up a reason for needing a little something just so I could have a personal, only for me, by Karey M piece of bliss. But can you promise me it will be as funny as your post script? Also it must contain the word bastards!

melissa loves said...

I am so happy, you are happy. Happily writing away and making everyone sound waaay more clever than perhaps they are. :) Oh, and your joke doesn't scare me one bit, though I haven't heard it. I know Uncle Sugar's face, cause I have seen the same look on Joel's....when I tell some of my fave jokes. Here is the punchline to one of them see if it makes you feel better....
" ....but, F*ck ONE goat!"
( ya see?) :)

Katie Bee said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Katie Bee said...

I think I have the same dreams as you do.
Only I'd add that I would love to actually make at least part of a living from writing. THAT would be this English major's great delight. The sun on my skin, though, that would work, too, for now.

Katie Bee said...

p.s. dead unicorns? hilarious speech opener.

Simply Mel {Reverie} said...

I wish you could write my resume. I need someone to fluff me up.

A good joke would definitely guarantee a crack me up.