scatterbrained deadlines...

i think this post's title says all i really need to tell you.

i'm smack in the midst of a few assignments, but i wanted to pop in and spill a few words.

my mom is coming to visit us tomorrow and we are crazy-excited. i've painted my toenails indigo. i've eaten very very red meat for the past three days...i think in anticipation of the chill, don't you? i've got to find a minute to tell you about the sweeterie and t.ruffle girls, but i can't find the minute just yet. esmé sings all the time now. mostly, she sings songs about her dolls and how they're going to taser each other. and then she unexpectedly pokes us in the belly. this makes uncle sugar so mad that he starts yelling about THERE'S NO TASERING ALLOWED IN MY HOUSE and when he's really upset HOUDINI DIED BECAUSE SOMEONE TASERED HIM! i don't think that last part is true, nor is the first part, either, because there is definitely tasering happening in his house, still. i bought the sexiest dress, like, ever sold at zara. and it's not black. and someone gave me the sweetest compliment yesterday when she told me you always look so comfortable. so easy. she wondered if it was because i exclusively wore jersey in varying shades of black. i replied that it would certainly explain the comfortable part, but that the easy part was a little too personal. seeing as how we'd only recently met and all.

in other news, i heard the saddest story about little girls who were with their father when he died. the very final minutes. and it brought me straight back to when my own dad died. i remember my very first thought was but who will love me forever now? it was beyond a lonely time, and my stomach still clenches when i revisit it.

anyway. i remember talking to one of my English professors, who was also a priest. long story a little shorter, i can still see myself shaking my head and trying not to cry and asking why those final moments are so...violent. i can't think of another word. i'm sorry.

think about it, he said calmly. the body and the soul have been in love with each other for their entire lifetime. they can't live without each other, but they know they have to part. and it's painful to say goodbye.

ugh. still breaks my heart and pieces it back together all at once. isn't it a reassuring explanation? i thought so, too.

have a sweet day, you. xoxo. photo from capture the castle. i bet people tell her she looks comfortable and easy, too. hee.