cross my heart and stick a needle...

we were talking about trust the other day...my girlies three and me.

a conversation that occurred directly after one that involved the phrases who spray-painted a fuchsia circle on our house? and an injured, faux-aghast not us! plus one as if! from esmé, who has taken on a valley girl accent since monday. and an if you tell the truth, you'll never be in trouble. and one rather slumped we did it.

because that's the deal in our family. tell the truth, and you'll never be in trouble.

this phrase is often paired with the phrase do you swear on my life? may i die a horrible death if you're lying? and then who will tell you stories at night about my awkward childhood and cuddle with you and keep you safe from child-snatchers and other murdering types? plus then you'll have to tell your babies that you killed your mom.

{like. a. charm.}

i told them how my dad always said that a man really only has one thing in life: his word.

what word? asked lillie.

no. not a word. that he's honest. that he means what he says and says what he means.

in between her giggles, she managed to snort out oh! i thought you meant the word for his privacy!

no. i am frowning now. but seriously trying not to laugh. {who let me be a mom, again? someone really should be held accountable.}

our little chat took a turn that i hadn't anticipated, but by the end of it, we all agreed. yes, it would stink to have our parts hanging out there in the cold...yes, it is so much lovelier to be all tucked neatly inside.

{i. know.}

back to telling the truth. i told them ok. imagine this. here i am. standing in front of you. i tell you i love you. i tell you that i want you to be happy. that the greatest thing i can do for us all is to keep you safe and healthy so that you have the chance to grow strong and share yourself with the world. that i would do anything for you. anything.

they're nodding. i'm nodding.

now. i continued. what if i'm lying about all that? or, worse...what if you just don't believe me?

well. at that, they're off. grae's admitting to at least three as-yet-unseen damages to the house plus something about talking in line at school...

but, lill. she's just looking at me. those chocolate browns of hers all puddled up.

it's like you tell a lie, she said. and you lose everything.

ooh. tomorrow...or next week...remind me to tell them about fibbing. just let me enjoy a lie-free weekend.

last night, i told uncle sugar i wanted to run away. he asked, what's that supposed to mean? it means i am cold. and i want to run away. to the un-cold. i still don't think he knows what that's supposed to mean. maybe i don't, either. all i really know is that i am cold. photos via weheartit.