09 January 2012

we're not going to talk about this...

do you even know some of the poor decisions i've made? like, trying to cook a pizza on a wooden pizza peel.

as soon as it started flaming, i stomped my foot and asked the girlies three why the heck would they name it a pizza peel if you couldn't use it to make a pizza?!

their answer included something or other about the basics of fire and flammability. doesn't take much, does it? wood and flame. yep.

i've microwaved metal, even after insane conversations with my brain trying to convince whoever's in charge that it's not so much silver...maybe the microwave won't even notice it.

i never wash my grapes, i seem to always ask when the baby's due when the mom is standing there holding a three-month old, and i continually forget to ask the guy to trim my nails until after he's polished them. can you just...a little bit shorter...it's fine...

it's remarkable. when you say to someone that it's fine and wave away all the it's not fines from the air around you, it usually is fine.

i thought i shouldn't go to alt summit this year because we're moving this summer. this should come as no surprise, but i am not good with time or numbers or deadlines - or at least not as good as i am with creating fires, contained explosions, and uncomfortable situations - because, to me, there's no in-between time. there's now and then there's late. and now, i find that i actually could've spared a few days next week. too late.

{insert a traffic jam of regret right here.}

so, if you're speaking, feel free to facetime me during your chat. i will nod my head and smile at you like you're the smartest little thing in the room. you probably are. and if you're attending, you can do the same; i'll whisper all the right times to clap and encourage you to ask questions. lots of them. and if your name is joslyn and you have a blog called simple lovely, you can call me at midnight and i will call down to the front desk and order you coffee for the morning. at which time, you are to call me once again so we can share a cup of caffeine.


the whole point of this post is that i would've worn these tights to the white party.


Kate said...

Those tights are pretty awesome. Maybe just wear then anyway? Winter wonderland party at home sounds like it might have its perks.

Torrie said...

i won't be there either. so many tweets about all of the fun that will be had & the meetings that will take place.

...& the white that will be worn :).

i'll be right there with ya... enjoying it from afar.

Torrie said...


my microwave is forever scarred from the metal that i have 'warmed up.'

CMN said...

Y'know, I am so with you on this post. I think attending Alt would be just a creative rush & whoosh... and yet it never happens at the right time for me. I live in Salt Lake City, but next week? Next week I'm in NYC, OH, and VA. And Alt is here. What's wrong with this picture?

I don't know either. Except I would have loved to see you styling those tights. I think I would have worn red, because I'm not good following instructions. Red, with a white silk top hat. Wonder where I can find me one of those...

Barchbo said...

I LOVE THOSE PANTS! Please buy them and have your own White Party of One and daydream about the future when your girlies three are Indian leg-wrestling each other for possession of them.

Seriously, I really want those pants.

Pam said...

1. The tights are a must.
2. You will be sorely missed at Alt - and we've not ever met! xo

annie (the annilygreen one) said...

but...but....but...you HAVE to come! can't we sneak you in???

Simply Mel {Reverie} said...

really...i told mcdreamy that i was strongly considering skipping ALT after discovering you, my hero karey, was not attending. true story.

he consoled with, "guess WE will have to visit her in Bali."

lesson learned, take rare moments when presented aka last year should have stayed and played hookie with you.

Suzanne : : S.HOPtalk said...

I'm throwing a "not at Alt Summit" pity party and you're invited! Moving!? Boy do I need to catch up. P.S. Hi, friend.

katie said...

hey, it's been a while...a LONG while but i couldn't resist in saying HI!!! :)

ps...and i LOVE the tights!

Joslyn said...

i am sad.

that's all.

raleigh-elizabeth {bunnyvictorious!} said...

this came up way late in my google reader or i'd clearly have been your first commenter. damn you, google! (actually i can't say that. it has to be 'dam, you!' because i gave up swearing for the new year. this does not include things like 'whereingodsnameisthatcolorfulcolorfulcolorful' whatever because i cannot live without that phrase. anyway. i too made the same decision about alt! that i couldn't because of the move. DO YOU REALIZE I COULD HAVE ESCAPED MY IN LAWS IF I'D GONE? i love them, i do. but my house, that's usually max capacity: two dutts, two dogs, two birds, one meyer lemon tree will now be FIVE dutts and THREE dogs and two birds and one meyer lemon tree.
and i could be at alt.

anyway i really don't think you're supposed to wash grapes. they're always fine. if it weren't fine, we'd know. i have lupus. we'd know right away.
also good to know is that wooden bowls do not go in microwaves (Bill learned this last night while i laughed like a hyenia) and also that serving spoons are not cooking utensils (which he seems to forget every time he cooks. i know, because i get to use my colorfuls when he does.)

anyway. HI HI HI. happy new year. happy move!!!

Fern and Feather said...

I love this post... not only do your thoughts always make me feel like... I get YOU... but this one in particular because I am not going either and it makes me sad.

You would have ROCKED those tights.

next year you and I will be high five-ing when we arrive ;)

the lil bee said...

i miss you already.

so much so, that i'm commenting on this post from the plane.

i visited your blog because i'm screen-grabbing something from it for my presentation.

that's how much i miss you.

not fair!

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