13 December 2011

last night...

mondays are tough, yes? i've never been able to fall in love with a monday.

until last night. when i treated her like friday.

we hit pause on homework and writing and studying bahasa indonesian. meandered through shops and didn't listen to the radio in the car and laughed lazily, as if we had all the time in the world together.

we all need unexpected nights like that. they're, like, rare birds that make you gasp when they fly by. finding twenty dollars at the bottom of your bag. the same feeling as a snow day, but better...because you chose it.

we strolled by santa and there was absolutely no line. esmé looked at me and asked if she could go talk to him.

do you think he's the real one? she whispered.

if you feel it, you'll know. i reminded her.

i've always told them to trust their instincts. that believing is so much more wonderful than the alternative. and that santa can't be everywhere at once, so he pops in to malls every so often, serendipitously and luckily for us. and so if we see him and our heart starts to race a little, swell a lot, maybe our eyes water a little? that's him.

anyway. she met santa last night.

later, i was holding her before she fell asleep. someday, i'll be able to do this myself, she told me, kind of in apology.

no rush. no rush at all.


Simply Mel {Reverie} said...

my heart is filled with overflowing warmth because of you and your magical way of living {and believing}.

Relyn said...

no rush - exactly right, Mom. Exactly right.

leigh said...

oh... I love that... if you feel it, you'll know. What a wonderful way to approach the santa deal... trust your instincts.

melissa loves said...

Trusting your instincts and no rush at. all. You are spot on as always my darlin....and as I hold my girlies at night, as they fall asleep...I think, why is everyone in such a rush to make this time pass? All too soon...they WON"T let us hold them as they go to sleep or won't need us too. Or they will be holding their own little sleepy heads and saying " My mama used to hold me as I went to sleep....every night. "

Anonymous said...

Karey, happy to hear you learning bahasa Indonesian. If you need help I could be a great help, let me know! My name is Zilla from Singapore. Been an avid fan of yours!
Here is my email address z_peey@yahoo.com


cateoh said...

As I read the beginning, I was thinking about how I am looking forward to the time when my children are old enough to be more spontaneous. A time when we don't need to rush for dinner, bath and bed because they just can't cope with the day anymore. But then I thought that as much as I want this, I don't. because then they won't be babies anymore. It seems we're on the same wave length. no need to rush....

A-M said...

Oh no, no rush at all. I am clinging to what's left of my big son's childhood. I got my first taste of teenager attitude today, mixed in with a horrid dose of entitlement. It knocked my socks off. We were all in shock, including teenager. He is so remorseful tonight. You look forward to them growing up and not being babies anymore but they grow up in that 'blink' and you forget what they sounded like, smelt like, felt like as babies. Hold her tight. A-M xx

Chrissylove said...

I'm sorry did you say something?
I am still mesmerized by those heels.
Beautiful. Sparkling. Glitzy. Gold.
Oh, back to Santa.
I love Santa. Like a 5 year old loves Santa.
My eldest has made it perfectly clear that he no longer believes in Santa. So before I meltdown, I am rushing his non brief into you can "be Santa." He loves it already.
And that boy doesn't smile easily...

Estelle said...

Prayers and thoughts and good energy and the opposite of stress - all of it coming your way (and your girlies three and your mama). May your hearts be light and overflowing with love and health.

Thanks for always sharing your thoughtful words with us. They mean so much to me.