after our little accident, esmé just wanted to go home. i did, too. everyone with their questions and their "you're bleeding, ma'am. you might want to sit down." were peeving me off.
so we went home to breathe before heading to the hospital. mémé worked on a puzzle and tried to stop crying. i sent my famous mail to pat, and then i ran over to grae's school to tell her there'd be a few changes in her after-school plans.
so she bounces down the hallway, all messy bun and pink lips, and as soon as i see her...my eyes start watering. i mean, it's all so minute-to-minute, yes?
she looks around and starts panicking.
"do you want to take this outside?" she asked me, in a low professional voice.
"no. no. i'm good." she looked like she didn't believe me but also like she would be very peeved if i lost it at her school.
"esmé and i got into an accident. a big fat bastard in a crap car ran a red light and smashed us."
"where's mémé?" still professional.
"at home. she's fine."
"are you ok?" looking at my already-black arm and swollen eye and bloody bridge of my nose, her eyes widening but. still. profesh.
i assured her once more that both mémé and i were fine. she nodded, looked at her watch, and said "ok...i've really got to get back to class."
pat and i have been laughing our heads off ever since. she's such a middle-aged man, do you know?!
later, lillie asked why i didn't go to her school. i told her that i knew she was in the middle of testing, and i didn't want to ruin her straight A streak. she looked like she didn't believe me and even mémé rolled her eyes.
"you woulda cwied and we already had enough of that with me and mom." she said, still working on her puzzle.
that night, when we were all home again, grae didn't leave my side. followed me everywhere and even into the shower. lillie, on the other hand, couldn't get far enough away from me. esmé was just trying not to cry.
just before we fell asleep, lill came into my room and looked at me with her dad's chocolate browns but no chandelier smile.
"i wasn't nice at all this morning," she said. "i was grumpy. i didn't even kiss you goodbye."
poor thing. i told her how i wondered all the time which is easier: having someone you love die for a long time or all of a sudden out of the clear blue.
we talked about it for a while, and decided that both would stink. so maybe we should just be nice all the time just in case.
the first two pictures i stared at this morning twice. here and here.