major weekend. lovely times one billion. minus a few for the birthday cards i allowed the girlies three to choose for their dad. apparently, they are at an age where bums and boobies cards - as esmé affectionately calls them now - rule.
the notes they wrote inside, however, were adorable and made our boy get a little misty. as did my birthday plans for him.
i just backspaced over the words i'm and so and happy and these and days. it's funny how nervous i get about happiness. like someone's going to steal it away from me as soon as i declare my love for it.
i tried to explain this feeling to lillie a few weeks ago...about karma and guilt and worry and superstition and all the other nonsense i know i should throw away one of these days...and she was so out-of-character matter-of-fact in her response. you've no one mean around you that wants to steal your good stuff, she said with a little wave of her hand.
and she's so right. i think i've gotten rid of all those people. finally.
the only people these days that worry me are small. one in particular is quite tiny. and she's making me promise daily that i'll be sure to remember that, for her birthday in september, she wants a really really really good card. one with lots of bums and boobies. i will probably say yes.
last night, we were standing in the front and chatting with neighbors as the sun set. smack in the middle of a funny story, my neighbor stopped, pointed to my doorway behind me, and asked "does esmé always drink milk straight from the container?"
lillie might be only a little right. there are people around me who want to steal my stuff. off to the grocery to buy milk for my coffee this morning...
i want gray hair so bad, i can taste it.