i was vacuuming doritos from behind the chaise last night, all incredulous that this was my reality.
who throws doritos behind a chaise?! shocked and peeved, for sure. uncle sugar loves when i'm in that sort of a mood.
more importantly! who! eats! doritos!
then i started old lady mumbling. who lives like this? seriously. tell me. because i'd like to know who. lives. like. this.
uncle sugar shook his head at me like i was crazy. which...yes.
you were a slob when we got married, he said.
huh?
don't you remember? you'd throw your clothes all over the floor? i'd do the laundry? every saturday i'd clean the house top to bottom? you complained when the bathrooms smelled like bleach? like, clean?
no. way. YOU GUYS! I WAS A SLOB! i honestly thought i was PERFECT! i am not, it turns out. and do you know how lovely a feeling that is?
i can't explain it, but i think it has to do with taking a lot of pressure off of me and my girlies three.
later, i was talking to my mom, happily telling her the news. mom! i used to be a slob! do you remember this?
yes, she told me. also, you were not a very nice child. today you'd be called a bully. back then, we just said you were mean.
huh?
turquoise overload via would you stay? she likes shiny as much as i do.
10 comments:
awww, it's like you were a little Esme! also, those photos of baubles? gorgeous.
xo
Kelly
I know that release of the pressure...awesome. I love that you were a slob...such a beautiful & fantastic slob. :) And those baubles? soooo you.
xo
Melis
of all the nerve.
HA HA HA!!!
i have trouble believing you could be mean. maybe you were just misunderstood. i've always been a neat freak though -- it drove my mother (who wasn't one at all) crazy. i've eased up now, though not enough to stash doritos behind the chaise (though i credit whichever of your girlies three came up with that good idea).
hahahahahhaa, karma? i love it.
also, loving the turquoise nails.
(OMG, brandi, avatartwins!!!)
you? mean?
I don't believe it!
PS is TRuffle Girls done? bye bye website?
hahahaha. i had my mom remind me of the time i had a birthday party at my house when i was eight and my step-dad took me aside before the kids got there to tell me to "not be so bossy around my friends."
hmph.
of course, all of that changed when i moved in the sixth grade and got made fun while standing in front of the class the first day i got there.
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