i was vacuuming doritos from behind the chaise last night, all incredulous that this was my reality.
who throws doritos behind a chaise?! shocked and peeved, for sure. uncle sugar loves when i'm in that sort of a mood.
more importantly! who! eats! doritos!
then i started old lady mumbling. who lives like this? seriously. tell me. because i'd like to know who. lives. like. this.
uncle sugar shook his head at me like i was crazy. which...yes.
you were a slob when we got married, he said.
don't you remember? you'd throw your clothes all over the floor? i'd do the laundry? every saturday i'd clean the house top to bottom? you complained when the bathrooms smelled like bleach? like, clean?
no. way. YOU GUYS! I WAS A SLOB! i honestly thought i was PERFECT! i am not, it turns out. and do you know how lovely a feeling that is?
i can't explain it, but i think it has to do with taking a lot of pressure off of me and my girlies three.
later, i was talking to my mom, happily telling her the news. mom! i used to be a slob! do you remember this?
yes, she told me. also, you were not a very nice child. today you'd be called a bully. back then, we just said you were mean.
turquoise overload via would you stay? she likes shiny as much as i do.