05 October 2010

guilt...

there's a strange thing going on with me. i'm not craving my espressos anymore.

that's not the strange thing, really. it's more that i feel guilty about no longer being hella enamored with my delonghi and my beans and my gorgeous silsal. they used to be my sun and moon and stars and every dream in between. nightmare, too, if i was out of beans.




i. know. when things are somehow going better-than-well for me, i find guilt in the silliest things. it's such an insane luxury.

do you ever feel like this? supremely undeserving of all the wonderful and totally all well...i brought that on myself, didn't i? when things go south?




a very good reminder for me this morning. thanks for listening. xoxo.

anthony burrill prints found at dirty blonde first. oh! and a friend just suggested i was pregnant, which i am not. but that reminds me of something uncle sugar's mom once told me. "i always knew i was pregnant because for the first three months i couldn't bear to smoke my cigarettes and the taste of my gin tonics nearly made me sick." once this morning sickness subsided, she was apparently good to go! isn't that hilariously old school? i love that story.

10 comments:

blu said...

motherhood does it to me everytime. i don't deserve these wonderfuls that God gave me, i'm this that and the other...then i read the quote from your mom n law this morning! why our generation didn't get a chance to mother that way (without the scrutiny waiting around every corner I mean) is why we fret over every little detail. enjoy life today karey m, i will be trying my darndest to do the same!

Joslyn said...

hmm...i'm worried. ;-)

and i love uncle sugar's mom. l.o.v.e.

Richie Designs said...

love uncle sugar's mom.

I think my mom was on that plan as well ;)

la la Lovely said...

I hate guilt ...it's a nasty little companion. Guilt over the silliest things that is. My dad told to me to think like a man because they don't "do" guilt. If it were that easy, I said.
Ok. love that story about Uncle Sugars mom. Geez and nowadays they make you feel like if you took one sip of wine before you even knew you were pregnant you might have a not normal baby.
xoxoxo la la

Kathryn said...

Oh guilt - that, and feeling generally unworthy, are two of my all-too-frequent default settings. I'm buying that second print for myself...

A-M said...

Oh that Uncle Sugars Mum - brilliant! Constantly guilty about the treasures in my life. Can change in the blink of an eye though so very much consciously cherished! A-M xx

wool and misc said...

ooh! you have fancypants coffeestuff.

your MIL sounds fantastic.

The Lil Bee said...

Funny, I feel guilt when I ignore yet another load of laundry or dress Devon in the same hot pink sweatpants twice in the same week. But giving UP a luxury? For that I just feel like an all-out martyr! {Which is why I so rarely do it. I'm not good at playing the martyr.}

susan said so said...

oh, i love the 2nd one!!

xox,
susan

Melissa de la Fuente said...

I totally know what you mean....you SO deserve to feel joyful & guilt free....and that story? Is hilarious....
xo
Melis