tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-472812438595483786.post8421839710743069942..comments2023-10-31T09:45:22.775-04:00Comments on mackin ink: advice needed...karey m.http://www.blogger.com/profile/17431535677698029278noreply@blogger.comBlogger45125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-472812438595483786.post-91364134274305738882011-03-15T12:05:58.504-04:002011-03-15T12:05:58.504-04:00That's IT! I am coming up there! I didn't ...That's IT! I am coming up there! I didn't want to have to but, I am going to have to open up a can of whup ass on those skanky 12 year olds ( that's right I called 12 year olds skanky)!! You tell that awesome Lill that I would kill for her 3 tiny buns and sequin shirt and that those horrible girls are just scared out of their minds. I know, cause I knew those girls too, when I was 12. Yes, I did. You tell her that they are scared out of their minds just like the rest of us, but, instead of taking it with even an ounce of learned grace( that's where the idiot parents are supposed to come in......"Um HELLO?! idiot parents?!) they defend themselves against the fear with striking out at others. Oh, and jealousy....that is another powerful motivator. I will be there tomorrow. Tell them to be ready. The playground. at DAWN. ;) <br />xoxo<br />Melis<br />"your dad, the skank"...I am going to use that, is that okay Lill? <br />oh, and maybe this for next time<br />"I know! Sparkly boobs! Isn't it awesome?! Don't you wish YOUR boobs sparkled?" (skank)melissa loveshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06687537195249825267noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-472812438595483786.post-52629744137287400042011-03-13T16:38:26.218-04:002011-03-13T16:38:26.218-04:00sounds like lill may have it all under control. b...sounds like lill may have it all under control. but i feel your pain, i don't miss those days...Heatherhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14164862624715534594noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-472812438595483786.post-46570342604739328482011-03-11T12:44:35.797-05:002011-03-11T12:44:35.797-05:00ugh been there.
my mom's advice to me was c...ugh been there. <br /><br />my mom's advice to me was classy and short and left em wondering a bit...just have her look them in the eye and say, <br /><br />"it's such a pity you can't recognize greatness and ridiculously amazing fashion sense when you see it."<br /><br />ps i wore my hair in the three buns the other day....thanks for the super duper cute tip!!the space betweenhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16305906312726180134noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-472812438595483786.post-35467752819904711982011-03-11T09:29:23.066-05:002011-03-11T09:29:23.066-05:00Hey - I'm Keryn. First time commenter, recent ...Hey - I'm Keryn. First time commenter, recent RSS reader of your site. I have a suggestion for a short story you might get a kick out of. Have you heard of Stanley Elkin's "A Poetic for Bullies?" It doesn't directly help, but it's cute and bizarre and maybe might at least amuse you?<br /><br />Keep your head up and tell her all day, every day how amazing she is. The more she believes it, the easier it will be for her to get through.Kerynhttp://heytherelovely.com (under construction)noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-472812438595483786.post-8944420126433658192011-03-10T23:05:37.290-05:002011-03-10T23:05:37.290-05:00Hmmm. Such a tough call. But I say, let her ride t...Hmmm. Such a tough call. But I say, let her ride this one out for a bit. Based on her response, I think she'll be okay. (And if not, you'll know). <br /><br />I'm a former middle school teacher, and let me tell you, I was shocked at how my girls talked to one another. I honestly don't know what the answer is, other than remaining committed to raising your girlies to be true and kind and strong.Kayla Poolehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17290658489564992879noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-472812438595483786.post-41183314963723842392011-03-10T20:32:44.544-05:002011-03-10T20:32:44.544-05:00Your Lill is brilliant. Her answer about the T-shi...Your Lill is brilliant. Her answer about the T-shirt was spot on. She has to learn to fight these little battles, but you have to be right behind her, peeking around the corner - so to speak - gently guiding her. She's a strong girl already. One book that helped us when our Mattiekins was in 5th and 6th grade was "Sticks and Stones" by Scott Cooper. Teaches them things like answering a question with a question - "Do you feel a little taller today?" Subtle, but cutting.<br /><br />More than that, and I know you do this, encourage her to embrace her uniqueness. Her "quirky" is the most beautiful thing you've seen, right? My girl is the same way and I LOVE HER FOR IT. And I know you do too. Tell her everyday. Every other girl can have the perfect ponytail and the jeans down to their pubes. But my girl loves Frank Sinatra, Star Trek, and purple high tops. She's the most beautiful girl I've met. She's genuinely everything I wished I was back then . . . <br /><br />but this is about Lill. With you and Legs for parents, she's on the winning team. Fo sho.<br /><br />Hang in there, Mom. It's only beginning. Check out the book.Rochellehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11129350791319786163noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-472812438595483786.post-39867179818978368722011-03-10T15:03:00.930-05:002011-03-10T15:03:00.930-05:00I say step in if needed.
Or...drive by their home ...I say step in if needed.<br />Or...drive by their home in the middle of the night and egg their house.<br />{but you didn't get that idea from me..}kaseyhttp://www.kaseybuick.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-472812438595483786.post-49806680353828844052011-03-10T12:41:09.934-05:002011-03-10T12:41:09.934-05:00I honestly don't know, but plan on reading thr...I honestly don't know, but plan on reading through all of these comments for my own knowledge. Such a tough call. I think if the parents truly are clueless, you'd be better served talking to the teachers, who can probably discipline the girls without them knowing that you were ever involved. Also, I think that girl of yours is doing a pretty amazing job with the comebacks!!deehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12271310136010979584noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-472812438595483786.post-21516020296485166552011-03-09T16:13:16.865-05:002011-03-09T16:13:16.865-05:00I love reading your blog, even the tough stuff, as...I love reading your blog, even the tough stuff, as I have three girlies of my own. A little younger, but headed down the same road. May I recommend a book? Queen Bees and Wannabes by Rosalind Wiseman. It's the non-fiction book Tina Fey used in part to write the screenplay for Mean Girls, and it is a super resource for understanding these girl dynamics (I think it'd be good for parents of boys to read too, as they're dealing with girls...) Anyway, my oldest is in third grade and has definitely found herself in the middle of some mean girl activity (last year one of her friends at school de-friended her because we don't attend church, ouch—it was worked out eventually, but thanks for the hard lesson). This book really did give us some good ideas about how to work through it. <br /><br />Such good advice from your commenters. Making lots of mental notes for age 12 coming up.Elizabethhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01504459523187296232noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-472812438595483786.post-83033812064161400742011-03-09T14:12:51.042-05:002011-03-09T14:12:51.042-05:00I like your words, i had idea to blog specially of...I like your words, i had idea to blog specially of my words and nothing ive done and you just kick me to make it real, thanks.nataya, chacha, nchanhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06769206869233975253noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-472812438595483786.post-7649891995914578782011-03-09T09:41:08.336-05:002011-03-09T09:41:08.336-05:00ooof. sixth grade is a brutal time. i still crin...ooof. sixth grade is a brutal time. i still cringe thinking of how awful my classmates could be to each other. <br /><br />that top sounds incredible (who can hate on some sparkle???) and so does lillie...love that she rocked the three twisted buns and defended herself (he probably is a skeeve)!<br /><br />xoxo.annehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16030076761177567859noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-472812438595483786.post-76584929186252933882011-03-09T09:38:42.008-05:002011-03-09T09:38:42.008-05:00Ohhh! Girls are so MEAN! I love lill's respons...Ohhh! Girls are so MEAN! I love lill's response, though. Freaking brilliant. I was horribly bullied by female classmates in grades five and six. It was awful and I hated school, but I didn't have the self-esteem or confidence to stand up to anybody. It sounds like you've raised your daughter to be a smart, tough kid who can handle herself and her situations. Leave the parents out of it. If they're raising children who behave that way, I'm not sure you'd get far with them. Keep us posted!Jillnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-472812438595483786.post-76647518181064561082011-03-09T08:34:34.231-05:002011-03-09T08:34:34.231-05:00you guys. talked me off the ledge. you did, you di...you guys. talked me off the ledge. you did, you did.<br /><br />and i can't stop reading your advice and little stories. thanks for doing this for me.<br /><br />i needed it. and you. xoxo.karey m.https://www.blogger.com/profile/17431535677698029278noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-472812438595483786.post-89932839245525993342011-03-09T04:56:58.892-05:002011-03-09T04:56:58.892-05:00Don't know too much about these situations for...Don't know too much about these situations for the girls but I would definitely forget about dealing with the parents. They're the reason their offspring are so atrocious so time spent would be wasted. My boys have had their fair share of bullying... and end up saying things like "I am sorry you feel that way and feel so bad about yourself that you have to put me down to feel better about yourself" (Quote, unquote - 8 year old) ...and "you are obviously in a lot of pain. I understand that you have to lash out to cope with your pain" (big one - he's been hanging around me a bit lately and knows a bit about pain!). Your angels will be fine. They're fierce. They rock.... like their Mum! A-M xxThe House That A-M Builthttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17870752194541203656noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-472812438595483786.post-74891447909638896342011-03-09T01:06:55.061-05:002011-03-09T01:06:55.061-05:00I'm going to put my opinion in here because th...I'm going to put my opinion in here because those years of my life are still painfully close (Yeah, I'm probably the youngest reader of your blog, being 17. :P) and I totally understand how Lillie feels. I got teased a lot when I was 12 and 13, and sure, it was painful, but I got through it. I think, just judging by what you've written, I obviously don't know the whole story, that Lillie is handling the bullying OK by herself right now. I think if it gets to where she can't handle it on her own, you should definitely talk to the parents or a teacher. But at this point, it sounds like she's doing fine on her own. Tell her from me that 12 and 13 year olds can be some of the most obnoxious, toxic people on the planet, but they also have this beautiful ability to grow out of it. <br /><br />Laurel<br /><br />P.S. I personally think the three twisted buns are ADORABLE!Laurelnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-472812438595483786.post-55296731977597270502011-03-09T01:01:00.132-05:002011-03-09T01:01:00.132-05:00and for this I am so glad Im homeschooling this ye...and for this I am so glad Im homeschooling this year! Im going through this with a close friend and her daughter, and the mom is a wreck, maybe worse than the daughter:/<br />nothin peeves me more than girls who get away with this behavior. Its hard to imagine things really go uncorrected at home... the whole village idea about raising a child doesnt work here though<br />tough spot to be in, im not looking forward to next year and middle school!KeishaCoryhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17861418622614434218noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-472812438595483786.post-44232435280095402762011-03-09T00:28:40.399-05:002011-03-09T00:28:40.399-05:00Eww, 6th grade is the worst! It sounds like Lilli...Eww, 6th grade is the worst! It sounds like Lillie has a pretty good handle on things, I say let her get some practice coming up with more quips like that one!Katehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12618987087522956540noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-472812438595483786.post-57930818124323891652011-03-08T23:05:23.519-05:002011-03-08T23:05:23.519-05:00i really think it's time for lil to start prac...i really think it's time for lil to start practicing the worst swears we ever made up. that, coupled with miss manners' advice to respond to such rudeness with, "How very kind of you to say!" or a pointed question, "Why would you say such a thing?" <br /><br />probably insurmoutable problem: to fix the mean kids you must fix the parents, to fix the parents you must go back and fix the kids that were mean to them AND their parents, to fix all those people, well, you catch my drift.<br /><br />better to plan, *and practice* great comebacks at home. it helps a lot to have you be 'bully-like' and have lillie practice telling you to f-off, in cutesy coy question form, of course.<br />beansBeth Janairohttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13623356140472468474noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-472812438595483786.post-33271120060481896042011-03-08T22:43:32.700-05:002011-03-08T22:43:32.700-05:00Little girls can be so mean. My heart breaks for ...Little girls can be so mean. My heart breaks for you and your little one. I can't stand the thought of someone being mean to my child (I am not at that stage yet). <br /><br />I think you have to let Lillie try to handle it on her own. I am sure it's going to be hard, but it's times like these that help shape our character and bit of a tough shell (not too tough, but just enough) that she will need in life.<br /><br />Barchbo is right, it is hard being the coolest girl in class.bink and boohttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13405709538083899596noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-472812438595483786.post-75947093878610857192011-03-08T22:10:42.558-05:002011-03-08T22:10:42.558-05:00i love lillie. fantastic.i love lillie. fantastic.Unknownhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15988604136570178661noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-472812438595483786.post-6007033892800485612011-03-08T21:43:16.944-05:002011-03-08T21:43:16.944-05:00I so love the fact that she came back at them with...I so love the fact that she came back at them with "It's on a cup of Jo!"<br />Lillie totally rocks. Please let us know how is all works out. <br />Tell lill to be strong and herself... she is the cool kid!<br /><br />xx<br />callieCallie Graysonhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15842182285936262315noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-472812438595483786.post-30672100560444948122011-03-08T19:28:12.976-05:002011-03-08T19:28:12.976-05:00I was also bullied in the 6th grade as new girl in...I was also bullied in the 6th grade as new girl in town. I can say it ruined the rest of my schooling even though the girls backed down finally when I went toe to toe in a screaming match.<br /><br />by the way...at my 20th reunion? the ringleader...still wanted to poke her eyes out and trip her while she walked by. but. i'm. not. bitter. at. all.<br /><br />dunno what to say about it for her. a part of me wants you to go pull on those little shitty kids pig tails and threaten to do harm to their small animals but the other side says let her work it out.<br /><br />girls are mean...women are mean it never gets easierRichie Designshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00367914623379813600noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-472812438595483786.post-75617383513392444852011-03-08T18:49:04.113-05:002011-03-08T18:49:04.113-05:00ugh....everyone complains that middle school and h...ugh....everyone complains that middle school and high school are the worst, but compared to 5th and 6th grade, the rest was a breeze. i know it killed my mom a thousand times inside, but i'd come home crying at that age because it seemed like at least once a week, lines were drawn and the girl you were friends with last week had 2 new friends this week. for REAL...one time my "group" all came to school wearing their hair in messy buns (one on each side of their head, a la princess lea). they left me OUT! (praising jesus now, as i can't think of a more unflattering look). i don't even want to think about recess! what a tortuous 23 minutes every day!<br /><br />that's all to say, the GREAT news is: i made my BFF in 6th grade. and once i had her around, it wasn't about competition or leaving someone out or being clique-y. we just WERE. and we have been ever since. i love my mama and i love my sister, but i agree with a few of your other virtual buddies up there--it's best to stay out of it. i hope that if lillie doesn't already, she finds a forever friend who accepts her and thinks her j.crew tee is fab (outside of her SO loving family, of course) because it's just one extra layer of protection against all those mean BITCHES (whoopsie, bad word!) this is so long winded, but i know how you feel and i know how she feels and it makes my heart break, but it will get better :) :)Emilyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12210070183639471928noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-472812438595483786.post-47024124173304319592011-03-08T17:01:15.539-05:002011-03-08T17:01:15.539-05:00why do girls have to be so cruel? i'll never ...why do girls have to be so cruel? i'll never understand it, ever.<br /><br />your three are so incredibly special, and the love and confidence-building goodness showered upon them by you and uncle sugar is what will prevail in this situation (and all those not-so-nice moments in life). <br /><br />although it would be hard as hell for me to keep my mouth shut and my fists in my pockets, i would let lill handle it unless she comes to you and asks for help. <br /><br />so sorry.Simply Mel {Reverie}https://www.blogger.com/profile/15881462293605864150noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-472812438595483786.post-56948227051248602332011-03-08T16:51:26.576-05:002011-03-08T16:51:26.576-05:00Your story was like a time machine back to middle ...Your story was like a time machine back to middle school--what an absolutely horrific place. I hate to say it because I'd like to give those parents a call myself, but I'm not sure calling them will do anything. Rotten mean girls tend to have the most rotten mean parents. There was this New York Times article a few months ago that talked about preschool or kindergarten mean girls (!) and I remember just being horrified at how in most cases the parents seemed to almost create and perpetuate it. It actually makes me sick to my stomach. <br /><br />One of my biggest hopes for my little girl is that somehow she just rises above all of that--that she is kind, sweet, and thoughtful to everyone and that she is able to brush off the nastiness because she knows those kids are sad and pathetic. I guess I'd like my little girl to turn out the way yours are. Your Lillie is so very lucky to have a family that obviously loves her to pieces and sisters (thank goodness for sisters). It doesn't hurt that she seems quick with a comeback either. Her little pinkie could outshine all those girls put together.elisabethhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16978341184208238950noreply@blogger.com