23 April 2013

five minutes in heaven...

part of my job as a mother is to wake up my girls on school days or swim meet mornings. i know just how to whisper to each of them to begin their days right. but this rarely happens.

because the morning version of lillie responds to sweetness with snarls and fake compound word swears like butt-chops and piss-fiss, and that sets me on fire like no other match in the world. and grae can sleep with her ice-blue eyes open, so i'm never quite sure if she sees me. plus it creeps me out. which is why i have to turn on the lamp. two inches from her face.

esmé? i whisper. always whisper. she's seven and still snarl-free. and she snores, even at seven o'clock after a fat night of sleep.

you already know about her sleepy morning dress-me routine. after that, as soon as she's sorted, i whisper in her ear "five minutes in heaven!"

and then i always always grimace and shake my head like what did i just say? i mean. i live in indonesia and i have heard about this sort of experience and you don't just say things like that without a plan, do you know?

kind of unrelated, but last night a few friends and i were talking about the sexual undertones in EVERYTHING here in indo. you simply can't get away from it. the cute ladies teetering on heels and staring down men, the men ogling the cute ladies teetering on heels. and my daughters.

it's strange and so in-your-face. all. the. time. relentless.

and! the phenomena of big fat white guys with hot indonesian women? mind-boggling. like, you would barely be able to contain yourself. you would want to shout OH, COME ON?! SERIOUSLY?! with a side of falsetto IS THIS HAPPENING?!

it is happening. and it's sad, this sex-as-currency thing. i definitely don't mind it as part of a package deal, but on its own with nothing else to offer? just sad.

but the weather is awesome and the pedicures are cheap, so it's fine.


and really. would the world be a better place if five minutes in heaven meant five minutes playing minecraft? yes. that's what i thought.

gimme. gimme. gimme.